Nice Pair Ma'am

Attempted to play some poker this past weekend at the Beau and that didn't exactly work out as planned. I woke up early Saturday morning and got my game face on and waiting for Ruttley to show up and we made our way to the coast to play in a satellite and then parlay that into a 30k win in the $500 event. Well that didn't work out how I had envisioned it. We got there and went chill with Davey and Joe B. for a little while and then went play in the same satellite. Well it started out ok and then I lost half my chips on a hand where the board came 10 high and I held 99 and rather than calling a small flop bet from the PFR I put in a raise and he called and then moved in on the turn and I was forced to fold. Battled back and some ppl got busted and we were 5 handed and a guy open shoved for 300 less than me and then Ruttley moved all in for less and of course I look down at QQ. I thought about folding for like all of 2 seconds and then put it all in. Of course Ruttley had KK and the other guy had A,10 and the KK held up. I was crippled and moved in with J,10 and got called by the blinds. Guy in the SB really pissed me off too. He was a total douche bag equipped with his "Stone Cold" Steve Austin shirt, blue jean shorts, white tennis shoes, crown royal hat, and the sweetest pair of 7/11 sunglasses I've ever seen! Well this jerk off makes the comment "I hope he knows what he is supposed to do down there b/c I'm not gonna bet".....I threw on the brakes and started to tell him how messed up this was and that even though it's understood that the check down will happen it's still collusion if you state your intentions. If he would have been the one to win the hand then I would have made somewhat of a scene just to prove a point even though I know I would have prolly been ruled against. Anyhow, Ruttley won a buy in for the $500 tourney and I went get torched downstairs in the cash game.

Sat in a game that was pretty weak and and was never really in any harm. I couldn't keep any momentum despite the unimpressive play at the table. I pretty much stayed about 30-40% above my buy in. Picked off a few bluffs, called the same old guy down with 3rd pair three times. The game was good, the table was fun and I was chatting most of the time. It was pretty frustrating b/c it seemed like every time I won a pot I was forced to draw on the very next hand and wipe away profit. I had my biggest profit when I flopped top pair Q with a King kicker and the board double paired queens and sixes. Of course I lost over $300 on the hand b/c the other guy had Q,9 for a better full house. That was brutal and I got up from the game after that and went cash out my few chips, luckily the guy didn't put me all in...that's a really tough fold and not a good long term fold.

Went sweat Davey who was battling his ass off in the $500 tourney and had to deal with some unfun swings. Ruttley and I played the second chance and I started off playing pretty well and able to more than double my chip stack by the first break. Very little danger except for the annoying guy sitting on my left. He was "that guy" who talked about how loose he was and how no one can put him on a hand. He was just advertising how good he was, needless to say it took as long as me untangling my headphone wires to put the iPod on and not listen to his greatness. What blows my mind about this is how people at the table acknowledge this guy and tell him "Man, I can't put you on a hand"....well I check called him down once and then he pretty much stopped playing pots with me. One crazy incident was when it sounded like a guy was choking or something and then he fell out of his chair and the tournaments stopped and they were yelling for a doctor. It was pretty insane b/c no one knew what was going on, didn't know if it was a heart attack or stroke or seizure. I'm still not positive what happened but I think the guy ended up cashing in the $500 tourney and never returned after whatever happened, hopefully he's doing great now.

The second chance was frustrating b/c keeping with my tradition of online tourneys of taking one big beat after accumulating chips I was unable to recover. I got moved tables and the big stack on the table opened and got called and I rereaised him from the BB with AK and he folded and the other person called. Now I played with this lady from the start and she was pretty unoriginal and ABC. I knew she had a small pair, well actually she had big pair but those were on her chest and she was letting them hang out and they had that biker chick quality to them. Ron White discusses this...how every guy wants to see them, even if it means you roll them back up and put em away after we're all grossed out. Well it wasn't that gross but you get the point. Anyway, she hit her two outer and after I knew she hit the flop I still bet and was forced to double her up. If she misses the flop I win the pot with a CB. I asked her how much more I would have had to raise to get her to fold 55 and she said she thought I was bluffing b/c I had my hand on the side of my face and took a while to bet....HAHAHA. Now she's making body reads after I had sat directly across from her for two hours and did the same thing every time and if you've ever played a tourney with me, I'm pretty standard with taking my time and keeping my hand either on my face or over my mouth. Anyway, Davey brought up a very valid point when I said I have no idea how much I had to raise to make her fold and he said "she's a woman and has pair, usually not going anywhere." Very similar to old guys who call with every pair and ready to muck as soon as they miss the flop.

It was a rather unsuccessful trip but I definitely realized that I had more fun playin the tourney than playin the cash game. I was just so much more tuned in and I'm not gonna say I tried harder but it just seems like I can create my own luck a little bit more in tournaments and in cash games I'm just trying to be patient and then I just get smoked on one hand and can't force myself to stay in there and battle b/c I get disgusted. In the tournament I have to stay there and I can't just pull out more chips. For whatever it's worth I'm ready to play some more and prolly gonna make a trip out to the coast this weekend...either to play the second chance Friday night or the $300 Saturday.

As far as the vibe at the Beau right now it's just not the field sizes and action like it used to be. And is it just me or is every guy under the age of 24 just a complete dork with no personality? Some sounds at tournaments just never change but then again some do...it's not like I'm an old man but it just seems like 4 years ago more people talked about betting on sports rather than dropping every poker clique they can possibly gather in one sentence. I know I used let people have it at the table but I could at least carry a conversation about anything and it wasn't usually poker related. Just never understood the fascination with talking about poker while playing poker and the conversation not helping your own game but rather just trying to show how smart you think you are....If I'm ever engaged in a "poker conversation" at the table it's because I think you're intelligent and I'm only speaking to the guy sitting next to me in a low voice and not talking across the table. I quickly learned that post game at the table is just dumb but nowadays it just seems like Vince Van Patten opened a school for people to analyze play and make the world a dumber place, maybe he has youtube videos and ppl watch these so they tell me that they had "weapons of mass destruction" or a "real wired pair." And when did it become the norm to state that "I just started playing this game"...followed by a wink and smirk. Good job sir, now I KNOW you're not really that good but you do think highly of yourself and I'll be glad to boost your ego for my pure entertainment. I'm sure I could keep going about this type of stuff but I'm just tired of typing right now.

Hopefully I'll be at the Beau this weekend make it a profitable trip too. Good luck to everyone headed out there and please don't be that douche bag at the table.
Till Next Time.
Keep It Real Homies.