Tourney and Helmets

Have you ever played the Harrahs weekly....its a great tournament, with solid players, and run really well....by great i mean very average at best, by solid players i mean dumb asses and run really well i mean dealers who can't handle simple math....other than that stuff, it's a great tournament. A whopping 57 players showed up and i played just bad enough to make it to around 24 or so. Got there about 5 minutes into the first level and sat in the 3 seat directly across from Bill. Like most times, I felt ready to play and thought I actually was gonna final table (hahahaha). Wishful thinking, but none the less it was my thought. As i'm getting to the table and surveying the area to see who I will most likely be donating my chips to for them to blow at a later time I witness a bet, all in, and call on a board of.....Kc,10c,Qd, 9h, Qc..and the winner is?? you guessed it....AJ, which was called by K,10..just another case of 3pair not holding up.(by the way, flop went checked, turned bet and call, and got it all in on the river). This is a great table for me, i have been cold decked for about 3 months now and I just know there is a good chance I will be run down with anything.

Well it ended up being a pleasant surprise that my table wasn't as crazy as the first hand i witnessed. It was fairly calm with mostly standard raises and no one was really creative. So I don't waste anytime and start limping away trying to take as many flops as possible with hands that I would normally raise with. This allowed me to stay involved, not draw attention to myself by raising a lot and maintain an average chip stack for a level and a half which i had no problem with. The first hand of any significance came up on the second level. MP opens for $150, one guy calls and I call from the cut off with 86o (one of my favorites). Flop comes 10,2,4..MONEY!...preflop raiser checks, other guy bets $250, and of course I call, and preflop raiser folds his AQ in disgust. Turn is a 9 and now I'm in business picking up the gutshot. Guy bets $250, I raise with the outs i just picked up to $600 total and he quickly folds and it felt good to know exactly where i was at and where the other guy was (by the way, that was the K,10 guy...wasn't sure about raising him at first b/c the K,10 hand i witnessed, but he proved to not be as loose as that hand portrayed..he just called with what he "thought" was a good hand and we all know most people shouldn't think at a poker table without supervision b/c most are idiots).

Moving along, Darrell (aka DaRock) shows up to the table and he was definitely trying to hurt people as he always does...this time the person was me. Blinds were still 50/100 with the first hand came up. 10 seat opens from early position for $250 (he is pretty solid and we've played at the same table numerous times, i actually have respect for his game) I look down and see two red Queens, the old guy on my right calls. For like two seconds I think about reraising but I run through my memory and realize that anytime the guy on my right has put money in the put, weather it be raise or call, he has had an ok hand and I have not seen him limp then fold to raise yet (I'm pretty sure he's not going anywhere if i reraise, plus I'm not crazy about reraising here..i trust myself enough to know where I'm at almost all times). I just call and luckily no one else calls. Flop comes 10 high, two hearts. 10 seat checks, old guy bets $300, and i think about raising but I look and I know the 10 seat is folding. I decide to keep the pot small and just call and play my position. Turn is the third heart and for all intents and purposes, a brick. Old guy checks.....and me, being the pussy I am, just checked also (mainly, I just don't like the way the hand is playing out). River is the fourth heart, I make my flush!..Old guy bets out $400, I very very reluctantly call and he shows me his TWO red kings for a flush and I show him my two red queens and muck. I consider that hand almost a win, I was coolered from almost every way possible and I managed to keep the pot as small as I could and lost the minimum. That was the first hand I survived from Darrell, he tried to get me two more times too.

I get dealt 10,7 in the sb w/ no action preflop. We see the flop 4 handed and it comes 10,8,2 rainbow. I bet $225 and get called by old guy on my right (also the button), turn is a 6 and I pick up more cards but I'm pretty sure I'm good already. I bet $625 and the old guy kinda hesitates and then calls. So now we're praying for no q,j,7...River, a Q (boooooo!)...I check, he bets $600..I tell him "I don't think you'd bluff me, sir....nice hand" He shows me J9 and we move on. (Darrell, didn't do too much on that...it woulda been a lot shittier if he woulda put a seven for two pair vs. straight). O wait up, that did happen two hands later. I have 9,7 in the cut off and old lady in the small blind who plays there all there time (I think its Mrs. Grace, but I'm not positive) decides its time to play. The pot was opened from middle position to $300 and we take the flop three handed. Flop: 10,9,7 Checks to me and I bet $575...old lady calls and preflop raiser folds. Turn is a brick and old lady checks, now I'm not sure what to do. She's got about $2500 or so and I just know from past experiences that she's not folding that hand no matter what! She may have just have the draw (which is good enough for her) or maybe a pair a draw, either way she's not going anywhere. This is one of those situations where it completely depends on my opponent....against a good player I would prolly put a lot of pressure b/c I give them the credit to fold the draw. On the other hand, a "not so good player" I don't give much credit to. I decide to bet for value on the turn b/c I'm certain she's not folding and I won't get any money if she misses and I don't feel like losing $2500 incase she gets lucky. I play like a rookie and bet $500 on the turn (I HATE when people do what I did, bet less on the turn than on the flop...mainly I hate it b/c people are dumb they can't give you the proper answer as to why they did it...I actually had logic) River is of course a Jack and it's four to a straight and she doesn't hesitate to shove all her money in the pot and I fold after about 5 seconds. Nice try Darrell, now get the hell off the table please! (I like Darrell, he's one of the better dealers but brutal things tend to happen at the table when he's dealing)

I definitely lost some chips in those 30 minutes and fell to about 3k and then made a few raises and called a couple and never connected. Had about $3200 and it folded around to the button who was playing fairly well but from some reason he was annoying me just sitting there. Don't know why, but sometimes just the way people sit there and place bets and fucking hollywood every decision. He wasn't getting called down, never showed a hand, chipped up pretty well, and he was the benefactor of the K,10 guy from the first hand I witnessed. Well anyway, aside from the trash-stache he was sporting and the pubs on chin that was supposed to make up some ridiculous attempt to grow a goat-tee he never said anything but I could tell he was convinced he was the best player at the table. Well anyway, folds to him and he raises to $600 and I look down at AJd in the bb and I'm not just calling. I reraise to $1600 and once he doesn't fold after 10 seconds of hollywood I know he's playin and just pray its not AK, AQ...I think he's about to set me in and I just dump my chips in the pot out of turn, well once he didn't commit i just pulled my chips out and stared at him and waited. I have no idea why people deem it a must to sit there and act like they have such big decisions to make...ESPN fucking kills the game, almost ALL and i mean ALL players don't have any thoughts going through thier mind other than the simple math of how much they have to put in the pot. If these jerkoffs were good enough to get a tell on me then they're gonna take my money anyway but I'm not sure what this guy was trying to prove. He's got 12k in chips and a pair in his hand he won't just hurry up and set me in, finally he says all in and I tell him "what took so long with those nines"...well I was wrong, he had TENS...seriously, wtf....u take a full minute to make up your mind to put some one all in when u know you're not folding!...and as good as this guy was, he wasn't good enough to just call right there and save the money if he got out flopped. Well and Ace on the flop and I hold up and get a well timed double up right before the antes kick in. I go to the break w/ around 7k or so and I'm not feeling too bad about it b/c hopefully I can open up my game when we get back.

Well the blinds are 100/200/25 and now it's time to open up a little bit more. First hand back and I decide to buy some ante chips and raise with J3clubs and smoke the flop. 2,4,9 one club...sweet, This board has redraw written all over it and one guy checks and I bet $775 and both fold and I take it down. I pick an ok pot with 5,3 clubs....Guy raises from mp to $500, old guy on my right calls and I call from the hi-jack. Flop comes 8,4,7 one club and preflop raiser bets $600 and old guy folds and I'm not folding my hand there so I call. Turn is a 2!..now I'm double gutted and I'm pretty sure I can win the hand no matter what now. He checks, I bet $1200 and he instafolds. I'm starting to get confident and highfiving myself on the inside and then the poker gods bitch slap me and remind me that I'm not that good. I'm utg and look down at JJ and they're so many ways to play these hands but this time i decide to open there b/c after all I can pick up the dead money in blinds and antes if no one calls. Lady in mp thinks about it and calls and then it gets to Bill who ships it and I know I'm beat so I just shoot him a smurk and fold and then the lady in mp calls and of course she has KK (wtf, how bad do people play?...she had like $1500 to start the hand and just called my raise. I'm not saying women can't play, they do have some...they're a hell of lot more guys that play worse, simply b/c they're more guys that play. Women often play with the biggest chip on their shoulder b/c they feel they don't get any respect. We'll get into that topic at a later date). Anyway, back to the hand...incase you're a semi-tard and didn't know, Bill has AA and of course I woulda hit a jack on the turn. It's all good, a rather small loss, I'm over it.

This is the hand that did me in. I'm playing ok and have a good vibe going, haven't gotten caught doing anything, only showed strong hands and flying relatively under the radar but still building my chips. I look down at A,7 spades in the sb and it's a limp fest. 5 of the 9 people at the table limp in and I complete. Flop comes 10s,9s,6x. Gut shot and flush draw and I'm first to act, I like my hand and have a good table image so I bet out (blinds 200/400/50). I bet $975 and get called by the one seat (no longer over confident trash-stache, instead "coonass oil field worker"). No big deal, I don't mind the call at all...infact, I kinda got the impression he's on the same draw. Turn card pairs the board with a 9 and I'm not slowing down here. I bet $2025 and he gives me the "that seems like a lot of money but I've come this far so I'm not gonna fold look"....you know the look, you hate the look but you don't mind it b/c you know you're ahead. I'm almost 98% certain he has the same draw as me. Could be a really nice pot if we both make the flush b/c I'm certain he will raise me when I bet the river. River is a Queen and he just kinda shrugs like, this isn't what i was looking for but o well. Well I knew he wasn't strong the whole way and I couldn't just check. Thinking he might have had a pair and a straight draw, maybe a pair and flush draw. So I come up with the courage to bet $4200 and he says "ok, I'll give ya call"...Nice hand sir. I say to him, "good no spade for you" and he proceeds to tell me that he was "trying for the jack of spades to fill his Q,8 spades"....are u freaking serious, I love how idiots "try" for cards at the table. Like he really thought, this might be the time the jack of spades comes off and he would finally hit that straight flush he's been trying so hard for. These people are retards and should be required to wear a helmet at all times. Not just any helmet but certain helmets depending on how dumb you are. Maybe a catchers helmet for the first level b/c you can contribute to the world. The second level maybe a bike helmet b/c we all know you're not too sharp but we really shouldn't run the risk of it falling off your head so you're not confused w/ a normal person. The third level we give you a football helmet and mouth piece so we don't have to hear you talk and make everyone else dumber. Maybe we can have stickers to put on them, like the Ohio State Buckeye stickers or something. Every time you say or do something useful we can give you a sticker and every time you say something dumb we take a sticker away, once you're helmet if covered then you go to the next size down and try to feel that one up and once all your helmets are covered then you no longer have to wear one. But you would have to wear a pin on your shirt or a have a medal like recovering alcoholics so that we all know that you're a recovering idiot and you're never really cured of the disease. I don't' know if this would actually work, but its just a thought.

Back to poker, I lost that hand and wasn't too upset. It happens and I moved on and tried to find a spot to get my chips in good and had more than 3 times the bb and enough to give fold equity. Shoved once and didn't get called so that was nice. In the bb w/ 33 and folded around to my oil field buddy who called and I shipped and he thought about it and said "I'll give ya a call"....i know you will sir. I turn over 33 and ask if he has a pair and says no. So that's fine, we're racing....well not exactly, he only had one over...he shows 9h,2h. Good luck w/ that sir. He misses everything and I make a spade flush to double through. Once again he tells me that he was "trying" for hearts (I had to remove another sticker from his helmet for that comment before we moved on to the next hand). I made it to the next break and came back to 4k in chips with 500/1k/100 and saw a King in my hand and shoved. Another guy ships for 400 less and my oil field buddy gives another call. I have K,7 other guy has A,5 and my buddy had KJ. So that sucks. Flop is all bricks, turn pairs the board w/ the 10d and I'm the only one with a diamond so now I have 9 outs for the flush and my seven is also good and if i hit a K, my buddy and I chop b/c there's a queen on board. River doesn't help and I'm busted with around 24 players left.

I know this was a little long, but if you think I misplayed something terribly just let me know. Or if you agree with my play or helmet theory that's cool too.
Keep it real homies.